[And there's Sam Tyler in a white vest and blue boxers, armed with a pillow and quite the shocked look ( Read more... )

I 'ave Vallors.  I'm lookin' to trade for anythin' that isn't these nasty ration bars.

[He's also not going to question why he's not up there on the bachelor's list.]

Will take alcohol or food.

As Gene Hunt is vaguely incapable of doing anything other than be offensive and doodle on his paperwork, should anyone happen to see the div wandering around looking for alcohol or a fight, please send him back to 5A.

Found something. Don't open the attachment if you're sensitive to male organs.

( [The Attachment] )

[The message is being made to no one in particular.  He needs to talk.  And there's no one to talk to.  It's not like Gene checks the network regularly anyhow.  He's too busy hoping that if he stares at the television long enough, a football match will pop on the screen magically ( Read more... )

Anyone care to explain the extreme amounts of mud all over the floor?  An' why I'm in an orange Speedo?

( [Private to Gene Hunt - Unlocked] )

[Sam is not a happy camper.  He's sitting mostly in the dark in what is obviously his closet.  Pant legs, his face, and an odd variety of snack foods popular in the 1970s in England surround him, illuminated like his face in a soft blue glow.]

So, I'm meant to read this.

Sam Tyler,
You've spent your life planning every step of the way an' 'ave been ( Read more... )

[Having found the Guv in this version of purgatory, Sam's certain he can find the rest of his team here too. For that reason, while Gene Hunt's busy poking around a bathroom that actually works properly, Sam's decided to get on the network. He has a thick Manchurian accent ( Read more... )